English Subtitles for Gag Concert | 개그콘서트 [ENG / 2016.05.21]

Subtitles / Closed Captions - English

(She Was Pretty)

I just got back from playing soccer... But if I want to do well for the next match, I should practice. Headers... They're here. - Oh, yeah. Nami. / - Yes?

- Do you get into fights these days? / - No. Why? Everyone's calling you a thug. What thug? An ugly thug. What? You're a sly fox! You're so annoying.

- Hello, Pretty. / - Hi, Ilgwon. Hey, pass this ball to me. I'm really good at headers. - Pass it here. / - Head this. - Head this too. / - Okay. You suck at soccer.

What's that? What are you putting on your head, Pretty? I went to the amusement park today. - How do I look? / - You look like a bunny. Hop, hop. Goodness.

Ilgwon, what about me? Look at her! What are you doing? Why are you sneering at me? You call that a human face? What? You're a doll!

You're such a rascal. You're a rascal. Ilgwon, am I a Barbie doll? No, you're a bozo doll. What? Ilgwon, you're hungry after soccer, right?

Ta-da. I packed lunch for you. Let's eat it together. It's beans with rice. But I don't like beans. She took the time to pack it... Don't eat then!

I said I don't like it. Not that I wouldn't eat. Give it here. Give it to me! Eat it now. I've picked out all the beans. You're such a rascal.

You're a rascal. Such a rascal. Ilgwon... Did you eat all the beans just for me? No, for me. Black beans are good for your scalp.

- What? / - You're so Ugly. Mirror? Hey, you've gone too far, Pretty. What? You don't have a single blemish. I do have blemishes.

I just don't have pores. What a joke. Hey, you've gone way too far. Hey, you've got sleep in your eyes. Clean up. What? What's it to you, whether I have sleep in my eyes?

What does it have anything to do with you? Ilgwon, are you going to live with me? Are you crazy? I'll have to marry you first. You're such a rascal. You're a rascal.

Such a rascal. Ilgwon... Will you treat me like a princess after you marry me? No, I'll treat you like an old granny. You look like my aunt and grandma. What?

You wouldn't be half as bad if you didn't talk so much. - Geez. / - What do you think you're doing? - Geez! / - Let go. If I let go, you'll hit me. Let go of me! Ilgwon...

What's wrong? - You still have sleep in your eyes! / - What? You're so annoying! I'm going home! Pretty, let's go. Okay. Geez.

You have too much to carry. I'll carry this for you. Oh, thank you. Hey, Ugly. You carry this for me. - Why should I? / - Just carry it. What's this? Are you going empty-handed?

Who said I'll be empty-handed? I have to carry you! You're such a rascal. You're a rascal. (Pick Me Up) How did you miss that?

You have to hit that for me to say, "I'm happy." We need to talk. You gave my mom $100 for this month's allowance but you gave your mom $300. Darn it, she caught me. What's going on? We need to talk.

Let me just watch... - What the? / - Nobody move! - Close the window. / - Turn off your phone. - Put money in this bag! / - Put money in this bag! - What's going on here? / - Who are you? - I'm a robber. / - I'm the robber.

- Who are you? / - What's going on? Aren't you two together? I came alone, who are you? I haven't seen you around before. I got here first, so you go home. What are you on about? I got here first, you get out.

How much is the bounty for you? Me? $3,000. Only $3,000? I'm on $5,000. How dare an unknown thief like you act up? Unknown? Hey! "That's What We Want to Know" episode 706.

The footprints that disappeared from Oksu. That was me! Kim Sangjung said my name 8 times. You've never even been on TV. If you've been on TV, the entire neighborhood would know.

Aren't your parents ashamed of you? Don't talk about my parents! They've suffered all their lives because of me. What are you doing? Aren't you here to rob this house? Nobody move!

Hey, I'm a talented robber. Check out what's in my bag. It's just an empty bag for cash... This is my shirt. Why's this in here? As I came in here and shouted, "Nobody move!" I stole that to wear on my date this weekend.

That's crazy. This belt was in my drawer. I took that match with my boots. - That's how skilled I am. / - When did he take these? Check what he's got in his bag. He has a set of 3 underwear.

All you stole was underwear when I stole this? - Wait, there's one missing. / - I'm wearing it. I put this on while you were watching baseball. - I should get to rob you, right? / - Acknowledged. You dare clap? Say it properly.

You got here first? Of course! Did you get here first? Of course. Are you playing the of course game or what? What's going on?

Hey, speak the truth. You wear a mask because you're ugly, right? That's harsh. Of course. You just said that because you're jealous of my looks, right?

Attacking the face. Of course. Out of all the people you've robbed, she's the ugliest, right? That's insulting. Don't ask things like that. Of course.

There's always someone who does it cool like this. This guy's so nice. He's ugly but he's acting cool so he's making my skin crawl. - Me too. / - Mine too. So who got here first?

I got here first through the front door. - Did you come in through the front? / - Yes. Wait, then... Honey... Did you not lock the door after throwing out the trash? That's why the robber got in. She made the mistake.

If you had locked the door, I would've come through the window and taken everything. Window? You didn't lock the window after smoking earlier! - He did the wrong thing. / - Yes.

The wife does housework all day long and you just go for smokes. Is it that hard to throw out the trash for her? - Wait... / - What did you say? The man goes out to earn the money! Is it that hard to do that one thing?

You get play at home all day long. What? Play? Cooking, laundry, dishes! Who is it that makes me live like this? Geez! Who?

Are you regretting getting married? Cancel it then. Cancel it? You said it not me. You won't regret it? I won't! Let's divorce!

Agree to family court? - Agreed! Let's go! / - Go! Geez... What on earth are they doing? (Real Sound) Hello! We will change the onomatopoeia you use in

everyday life to be more detailed and precise. We are Real Sound or RS. This is today's sentence. I taught him my know-how with a "snap." The sound of teaching here is "snap." Doesn't this sound strange?

Who on earth goes, "snap" when they teach something? Is it this? Are we talking about drinking? Is Kim Joonhyun the teacher? Who teaches someone like this? That's right. The sound depends on what you're teaching.

First, what is the sound of a drill sergeant teaching a recruit? This is the sound. Let's hear the precise pronunciation. Real sound! For the next drill...

Do you understand? Next. What is the sound of teaching your wife to drive? This is the sound. Let's hear the precise pronunciation. Real sound!

Don't be nervous. Slowly step on the accelerator. No, the accelerator. No, no, the accelerator. No... Brake! Get out.

Then... What's the sound of teaching a junior work? This is the sound. Let's hear the precise pronunciation. Real sound! Miyeong.

Why are you smiling so much at the male workers? And what's with your outfit? Are you here to play? Get going. Good morning, Manager Kim! Doesn't that sound realistic?

Let's move on to chapter 2. She's crying with loud "sobs." The sound of crying is "sob." Isn't this a little strange? Look here, everyone. I know women cry a lot but

what woman goes "sob, sob" when she cries. Who on earth cries like this? That's right. The sound of crying varies depending on the situation. First, what is the sound of crying after breaking up with your boyfriend?

This is the sound. Let's hear the precise pronunciation. Real sound! That jerk. I can eat fine without you. I'm going to live a good life.

Honey... I miss you... Next, what is the sound of crying during a sad movie? This is the sound. Let's hear the precise pronunciation. Real sound!

I'm sorry. Next. When you go to a concert and your favorite singer comes out. How does it sound then? This is the sound.

Let's hear the precise pronunciation. Real sound! Sechs Kies rules! Sechs Kies rules! ♪ Oh, love... What took you so long... ♪ Don't cry, baby. It's almost over. This has been Real Sound. Thank you!

(Horror Special) Why are traveling with such bad weather? It's raining and there are no more trains. What is this? I've only ever imagined it, I never knew it'd come true.

What? Nothing... Seunghye, I think we have no choice but to sleep here. What are you trying to pull? - Are you... / - It's not like that.

It's dark and it's raining. It's too dangerous. Let's just wait until the sun comes out. I'm shocked too. Do you think I ever imagined this could happen? Okay, honey...

Is no one here? - Are you looking for a room? / - My goodness. That granny is weird. Let's go somewhere else. There are no vacant rooms elsewhere. We have a spare room here. That's a relief.

Two rooms at that. No! What's wrong, honey? Two spare rooms? Why two? What's going on? - Are you... / - It's not like that, Seunghye.

I'm worried that you'll be scared to sleep alone. I'm not scared at all. - Oh, really? / - Yeah. I see... - How much is it for two rooms? / - $160. Oh, no.

What do we do? I only have $100. I think we have no choice but to share a room. $100 for two rooms. No! No... What's wrong with you, honey?

It's nothing. Honey, these people really seem strange. I'm so scared right now. Seunghye, you're scared, right? Then let's stay up together all night. - What? / - Let's not do that.

That's what I meant. Don't look at me like that. We only have 3 hours left till the first train. We'll just talk and then leave. Okay, let's do that. Thank you. One room please.

You can use this room. Call me if you need anything else. Let's go in. Goodness. Why aren't you leaving? - What the? / - Honey...

What is it? - Don't cross this line. / - What? - Thank you. / - Why are you thanking her? Geez... Nothing's working out. What's this? You!

- You, you... / - What are you doing? - Weren't you here last year? / - No... I think you came with your girlfriend that time... It was someone else. What are you saying? Why are you doing this to me?

Why? What was that? - Did you come here last year? / - No, Seunghye... She's mistaking me for someone else. - Right? / - Yeah... Seunghye, your clothes are all wet.

Take your clothes off first. - What? / - Hey, Kim Seunghye. I'm not like that. You're not the only one who suffers if you catch a cold. You'll break my heart, you fool. You have no idea...

Okay, honey... - Don't look. / - As if I would. It feels like someone's watching. I haven't looked yet. I mean it... - Someone else? / - It feels like someone's watching.

What are you saying? No one's here. Seunghye, wait... There's nothing here. It really feels like someone's watching. But there's no one... Hair dryer.

Room service. I won't have to take off my clothes now. No! No, no! That's so annoying. Honey, maybe it's because we walked a long way

but I'm hungry. Aren't you? - Seunghye, you're hungry? / - Yes. Is there any food around here? Let's see... What do we do? All we have to eat is this alcohol. Why did I only bring this?

Seunghye, I guess it can't be helped... How much can you drink? I'm not very good at drinking... Really? Only 3 bottles. No!

What are you saying? - I only brought one bottle. / - What? Here's alcohol. Thank you. How much is this? It's the stuff you left last year.

It only took half a bottle with the girl last year. Oh, geez! - Seunghye... / - What's going on? Did you really come here last year? No. Seunghye, those two are causing a misunderstanding.

Seunghye... I'll protect you. - For real? / - Of course. - Promise. / - Promise. Honey, I'll just go to the bathroom. Okay.

What were you thinking with an innocent girl like her, you dirtbag. Let's sort our bags... Let's see... Seunghye's bag... Toiletries? No!

(Through the Ranks) Big boss! - Isn't this expensive? / - Of course! Don't you touch it. It's really expensive. I'll put it down carefully. Why's the table so messy?

- Clean it up! / - Yes, boss. It's clean. - It is clean. / - Yes. You go to the end there and work your way back up as the youngest. - Boss... / - Your name is Headache from now.

Get going. Headache... And next to me... He's my savior... Insole will take that place. Come on in. Hello, boss.

I'm Headache. You have a nice head. Hello, boss. I'm Briquette. Your part is even nicer. Long time no see, boss. Good, Insole.

Since Insole is here, let's grow our organization properly. Close the door. What's this? Is this a nail sticking out? Why won't this come out?

Insole, can you remove this nail? - I'll check, boss. / - Good. Briquette. - Can you remove nails? / - I'll check, boss. Headache. - Can you remove nails? / - Necks?

I can! - Headache can do it. / - Headache can do it. Open the door. Headache, get in here. Go ahead. Open the door!

A neck like this cannot be a true nail. Right! A true nail... Can turn you into Frankenstein. It hurts...

Ouch, that hurts too much! It should hurt like that. Right. Or you can do a strength show with them. That hurts... It hurts.

That's a true nail. - Get it right. / - Sorry, boss. Get going. Close the door. - Insole. / - Yes, boss. This is a luxury saxophone.

I hear Headache can play it. Give it to him. - Yes, boss. / - Good. - Briquette. / - Yes, boss. This is a luxury saxophone. Big boss says it's for Headache. Yes, boss.

What's with his voice? - Headache. / - Yes, boss. This is a luxury saxophone. Big boss says it's for you. Hold it. And your hair.

You look just like Kenny G. - It's been delivered. / - It's been delivered. Open the door. Get in here, Headache. Do you like it? I like it.

Beginner's have trouble producing a sound. I don't think it'll make a sound at all. That's okay. Try playing it. Are you an executioner? This is what they gave me. Open the door.

This kind of watering can cannot be a true saxophone. Right! A true saxophone... Can turn you into Captain Hook. Like that.

Right. Or a bighorn sheep... from the Rocky Mountains. That's what makes a true saxophone. Get it right! Sorry, boss.

But I feel secure with Insole here. Boss, I will put my life on the line to protect you. Good... Hey... Who's the boss here? Who do you think you are?

Who are you? Boss, it's dangerous! Boss, I protected you. Let go of me, let go! It hurts... (Knew This Would Happen)

Hey, Congressman Song. How's the preparations for the presidential elections? Good, all thanks to you. They're going well for you too, Congressman Park? It's not like I do any work. It's all done by my subordinates.

Let me be frank. Give up on your campaign and support me. Do I hear a dog barking? What kind of nonsense are you speaking? Fine... I hear you play a lot of golf with

the chairman of Hanguk Group. Yes... Golf is best for exercising during conversations. You're right... You should just play golf... Not receive bribes.

How did you... Stop your campaign and support me. And if I won't? Then I'll spread this to the media. Wait, Congressman Park. You think I wouldn't have insurance?

- Secretary Song. / - Yes... I planted my secretary under you 2 years ago in case something like this happened. This is the original file. Good work, Secretary Song. What will you do now?

The original file is in my hands now. Give me that file right now! Oh, you scare me. And if I don't. Then I'll take it from you. Secretary Yang.

Here you are, Congressman Park. Good. I knew your secretary would be my secretary 2 years ago and planted my secretary as your secretary 3 years ago.

Wait... Then my secretary is your secretary and your secretary is my secretary. Your secretary is my secretary and my secretary is your secretary. So my former secretary is your secretary

and your former secretary... What the! Why complicate things, Congressman Park? So just give up and support me. And if I refuse? Then I'll hand this over to the media. - Let's go. / - Wait!

I knew this would happen. So I sealed off this building. There's no way out of here, Congressman Park. You sealed off every exit... I knew this would happen! That's why I left a secret exit.

Let's go. He can't escape like that! I knew this would happen. That's why I connected the exit to here. Come on out. What's going on?

What the? What will you do now? There's no way to hand the file over to the media. I knew this would happen. And hid a reporter in here. - Reporter Jang. / - Reporter?

What? A reporter... The article is complete. - Good. / - Song Junggeun's illegal funds. Suspicions of bribery. Once he sends this, Song Junggeun is finished.

Good. Send it now. What do we do? I knew this would happen. And put a password on the WiFi. Isn't it just your birthdate? How did you know?

I knew this would happen. And circled your birthday on my calendar. A circle? 0918. - Send the article. / - Got it. It's over for us once he sends that.

I knew this would happen. So I kidnapped your son. - Son? / - Bring him out here. Father! Young master... My son...

Make your choice. Is it your son or the original file? You dare touch my family? You corrupt jerk. I knew this would happen... And removed my son from the family register.

You forsook your son? He's no longer my son. Do whatever you want with him. Father. How could you do this to me? I knew this would happen.

So I stole your slush fund records from your safe. Didn't think this would happen, right? - Mister. / - Mister? Good job. Congressman Park. Your life in politics is over.

Once those records go public, we're finished. You dare touch my belongings? I knew this would happen. So I brought a police commissioner I know. Commissioner Kim. The commissioner?

- Commissioner Kim. / - Congressman Park. Hello. - Have you been well? / - Yes, yes. It's these guys. You're all under arrest for receiving illegal funds and theft.

Congressman Song made me do it! - He made me do it. / - What are you doing? Your life in politics is over. It's taken so much work to get to this point... I knew this would happen. And I called the police commissioner's wife.

Mrs. Commissioner. The wife? Why the wife? Why? Why? - Honey. / - Yes? Don't you have anything to tell me? Did you do something wrong?

- The credit card fee? / - Credit card fee? - Emergency funds? / - Emergency funds? - Did Madam Kim call? / - Madam Kim? I'm sorry! I'm sorry about everything. Arrest that man!

Goodness... I didn't know that would happen. (1 vs. 1) Quiz show 1 vs. 1! We have lots of contestants today. Let's meet the first contestant. - Nice to meet you, Il Hoseon. / - Hello.

Mr. MC, drink this. Goodness, thank you. It's past the expiry date. Listen! The expiry date is just a number. Fine, you drink it then.

- Oh, yeah. / - Stop fooling around and answer this. This is your first question. This is popular among guys today. What is this thing that whitens your skin. This is the answer. This is popular among my friends these days.

Answer. Dry patch. That's the answer, right? I made plenty of it for TV. Okay... Wow, you're handsome. Stop talking nonsense. That was wrong.

This is your second question. The second question is a speed quiz. Fill in the missing lyrics to these songs. Here we go. ♪ Let's all go to the... ♪ ♪ Soup kitchen ♪

Wrong. ♪ Splash, splash ♪ ♪ Toss your coins ♪ ♪ Into my empty can ♪ ♪ Toss them in here ♪ - No? / - That's wrong.

Next... ♪ Head, shoulders, knees... ♪ ♪ Bend everything ♪ Excuse me. Bless you. Excuse me, they're all wrong.

Let's meet the next contestant. This contestant has memorized every wrong answer to be on our show. This is Jeong Yunho. Nice to meet you. I've memorized these answers 100%.

I think I can take the prize money today. That's great. I'll give you a test. This is your question. This word describes the authority to control a whole from the head position in German. What is this word that means when one

organization dominates another? Hegemony. I really hope you win. We'll start with the easy questions. This is the first one. This is about soccer.

The ref gives the player a yellow card for a warning. Then what does card does he use to eject a player? I don't know. That's not in here. No one's ever gotten that wrong. Why can't you answer it? So...

There aren't many people who get this card. Oh, VIP gold card. No, not like that. They hardly ever give you this card. Oh, mom card. Geez!

That's wrong! Let me just look at this book again. Give me some more time. Forget it. Just get the second question right. Here's your second question.

May 8th is Parents' Day. This is a question about Parents' Day. Parents' Day! Parents' Day began as Mother's Day on May 8, 1956. It was changed to Parents' Day in 1974 to this day... Okay, this is the question.

What do you give to your parents on Parents' Day? That's not it in here! Why would it be a wrong answer? Why don't you know? You give it to them to symbolize respect and thanks. The order or merit badge.

No, why would you give your parents that? Hey! It's red and on a stem! Spicy chicken skewers! Why would you... What would your parents say if you gave them that?

You've succeeded my son. Be quiet. You stay out of it. Let's meet the next contestant. Politics was easier than quiz shows. Candidate 0 Lee Sanghun.

0! Okay... Here's your question. Oh, my goodness. Okay... Please don't do that. Here's your question. It's a condition where you

throw a tantrum if you don't get your way. You whine and shout without warning and you emphasize your point-of-view. What is this condition? This is the answer. Candidate 0 Lee Sanghun. When you emphasize your point-of-view.

Kim Jongun of North Korea. Goodness me. Gosh... What are you saying? It's correct. He fires missiles from a submarine.

He fires Musudan missiles. He's always firing missiles. And he keeps doing illegal nuclear tests too. Why is he so curious? What is he? Edison? Why do you keep talking about this stuff?

That's why you should send Candidate 0 Lee Sanghun to the National Assembly. I've never fired anything in my life. The only thing I've fired are star balloons on internet TV. Let's go, BJ Wow.

Who's that? Me. Okay, stop that. That was wrong. This is your second question. Second question... This is an account you can use without a bankbook.

You can easily put money in this account. What is it? This is the answer. Candidate 0 Lee Sanghun. An easy way to get money. Korea Parent Federation. Goodness me.

What are you saying? That's correct. They've received millions from the FKI. But they've been lying about it from a certain point. And the FKI that sent them money but they've got their mouths shut like this.

They shake like this... Why do you keep talking about this stuff? That's why you should send Candidate 0 Lee Sanghun to the National Assembly. People, I've never received anything. The only thing I've ever received

is curses from anti-fans. Please stop making stuff like this. They even wrote my name in bright red. Okay, okay, stop. Okay, that's enough. Let's meet the next contestant.

Nice to meet you. I got to the hospital these days, I'm Lee Byeongwon. Lee Byeongwon... What will you do if you win the prize money? I'll go to Mojito for a glass of Maldives. You've switched them around?

The weather is so hot these days. I want to go to Gyecheongcheon. Cheonggyecheon? No, Gyecheongcheon. There's too much traffic there. There are too many fictraf lights

You mean traffic lights. Kidding me are you? - Are you kidding me. / - Kidding me are you? What are you doing? Relaxing your tense muscles. - Just solve the question. / - Okay.

Here's the first question. He's respected by many even to this day. He built hospitals in Africa. And did great deeds for humanity and those who suffer. Who was he? Hint...

- I respect this man so I know the answer. / - Okay. Answer. Albert Schnauzer. That doesn't sound right. Albert Schumacher. That's not right. Try again.

Albert Schwarzenegger! What's wrong with you? Are you fighting? What are you saying? Kidding me are you? - Are you kidding me. / - Kidding me are you? What are you doing?

Relax your neck muscles. Stop it. This is your second question. This is a popular cartoon from 1980. It's about five members with different talents who fight against Galactor trying to rule the world.

What is this cartoon called? Hint. I watched this when I was young so I know. Answer. Science Nanny Team Gotchaman. You got it wrong.

Try it again. Math Ninja Team Gatchawoman. Gatchawoman? What on earth is that? - Is it wrong? / - It's wrong. - I got it wrong again? / - Yeah.

I'm going to become crooked. What? Don't you know the song? C-Dragon's "Grooked." It's G-Dragon's "Crooked." ♪ Kidding me are you? ♪

That's enough already. That's enough from my anti-fans too! They even made this! Stop that. Please put that down. Okay, that's enough.

Let's meet the final contestant. I will answer every question. 1st place is mine. Jung Haecheol, let's go, go, go! I'll answer everything right. It's all up to you, Haecheol. Jung Haecheol...

Please listen to the end before you answer today. Relax. Don't get too nervous. Here's your question. It's a general knowledge question. Jaws... Spicy rice cake.

No, not that jaws. Listen to the end. Jaws usually eats... - Rice rolls, spicy rice cake, blood sausage? / - No! Not that jaws. Don't you know Jaws?

Ice bar. No... Forget this question. Next one. Listen to the end. It's a general knowledge question. Bada...

S.E.S. No, listen to the end. I mean "bada" as in ocean. The ocean Donghae... Super Junior? Who picked this guy?

Lee Sooman. No! I have no time to fool around with you. I have a date today. Computer update. No!

We're watching a movie and getting a meal... What is that? Pushover? What? She kept saying she likes me. - Gold digger. / - Don't call her a gold digger!

Forget it, you're out. This has been quiz show 1 vs. 1 with... Yoo Minsang! Yeah, you got that one right. Geez. (Like a Family)

Goodness. I said it's okay. Carnations are enough for Parents' Day. You don't have to buy us clothes. Don't waste your money. Mom, don't be like that.

Just buy it since sister-in-law wants to buy you one. Welcome. What would you like to see? Please recommend an outfit for my mom. I'm sorry. But there are no sizes that fit you here.

You shouldn't be like that! How do I look like her mom? I still have my baby fat here. I'm sorry. - You're shopping for these two elders? / - Yes. Please take a look.

Yes, mother and father. Take a look. How about this one? You shouldn't be like that! They look so gloomy and dark as it is. How can you recommend such a gloomy color? You should choose bright and fancy colors like this.

I was going to buy this for you though... Goodness. My true mother is here. Where's my carnation? Okay, how about you try it on? No need to try it on.

But it's different to actually try on. I can just tell by looking. Just try it on when he tells you too! You're as stubborn as a bull, you old man. You rotten woman, were you stung by a bee? Why keep stinging me with your words?

Okay, okay. - So you'll take these two? / - Yes... What's your size? I'm a 90. Just wear 100, dad. But I'm a 90, why would I buy a size 100?

So I can wear it too! If you have no inheritance to hand down, at least hand down your clothes. Brother! What do you think you're doing? Please come to your senses.

You're the pimp of our family. Aunt, why are you so ignorant? You say he's the pillar of our family not pimp! How much do I have to teach you? Nephew! I'm your aunt.

You shouldn't look down on me like this. What? I feel like pork. Dad, I want to eat pork. You heard that, right? Give me $230 for pork.

What kind of pork costs $230? I want to eat black pig in Jeju-do! Give me the money. Fine, I'll buy you tangerine chocolates on the way. Give me money. Don't just sit there blinking!

Why you insolent brat. Bring me my cane! Dad, I'm 50 years old. I'm stronger than you now. You shouldn't be like that! This man keeps the local hospital running.

You can't treat him like that. - I keep the hospital running? / - You stay out of it. You bring me my cane too! Dad, I'm stronger than you too now. What are you doing? Why is she not sweet at all like a woman should be?

So you like sweet women? I'm off then. Where are you going? I'm going pull out the hair of all sweet grannies. When they bow sweetly to me like this, I'll smack their heads straight into the ground.

Julia... - Pick out some clothes. / - Okay. Wait, I've seen these people before. Oh, yeah. Dad. What are you all doing here? We're here to buy father and mother an outfit.

It's Parents' Day today. I don't believe this, dad. Why didn't you tell me it's Parents' Day today? What are you on about? Everyone knows it. What? So you told the world but not me?

I don't believe this. Fine. Since I know now, I'll do my duty. Father... Use this as much as you want. Goodness, a credit card?

It's your credit card. I've used it all over the place. Why did you use my card? To accumulate points! You've earned 20,000 points for doing nothing. What a great son I am, right?

Dad, give me a card too. I'll accumulate points for you in Jeju-do. - Dad. / - What about me? - Me too. / - Give me a card. What do you think you're all doing? They say there's no point to raising kids

and they're right. How is today Parents' Day? Does it make sense to ask for my card? I'd better just tear these cards up. Does this look better or this? They both look good.

We'll take them. I'll pay with this. - Father! / - Dad! (Veteran) When's the sound director getting here? Senior! The sound director just got here.

But he's injured his hand. What? He injured his hand? What do we do then? We're all veterans. Just tell him to use his feet. Whatever then. The show's about to begin.

Honey. You look so pretty today. - Really? / - Of course. Let's tell your parents today and set a date for our wedding. So cute.

- You're hungry, right? / - Yes. Excuse me. Are you ready to order? I'll have... You choose for me. Okay.

What should I choose... Umm... What would be good to order... - Just give us anything. / - Okay... Honey. My dad's been a detective for a long time

so he'll be very conservative. Will you be okay? Don't you worry. But I'm kind of nervous. Sora... - You're really nervous. / - Yeah... Don't worry. I'm sure he'll like you.

Dad's here. Oh, you're here already... I have to go in. Open... What are you doing, dad? Hey, help me out.

Oh, it's open. Honey, this is my dad. - Hello, father. / - Hey. This is my boyfriend... Hey, Sora.. Stop that, stop...

Stop... I love him this much. - Please control yourself in front of me. / - Yes... Father, please order. What was that? You're back in here?

Why are you hitting me? I'm a workaholic. - Please sit down first. / - Okay. Your father must be late. - Father's here. / - Really? I'm sorry.

- Sorry for being late... / - It's okay... Hey, Double Blade. What are you doing here? Detective Kim? So Sora is your daughter? Gosh.

That's my son. What? Do you know each other? I know him well. This guy is such a crook... Let's just forget about the past...

You crook. How can I forget? You remember this scar, right? 20 years ago... I tried to catch you after you stabbed people and you gave me this scar in the back alley.

It's a kiss scar. - Right. / - I guess I'll have one more. Anyway, there's no way I'll marry my daughter into a thug family. Hey, Detective Kim. I've cleaned up my act a long time ago.

I just run a small business now. What? Business? What kind of business could you run? I hear you're running an illegal loan shark company. - Why you... / - You haven't cleaned up your act! Clean yourself now.

- Thoroughly. / - Thank you. Yeah, dad. He's clean now. Please calm down and sit. Here's the dish you ordered. Detective. The chef here is an excellent cook.

Have a taste. Why would I eat something you offer? You eat it. Do you have to be so rude? I have to eat this... He has to eat...

I have to... Why do you keep turning it? This food... It's a sushi train. - Sora, give me some water. / - Yes. Dad...

Do you want more? - No, that's enough. / - That's plenty, right? Anyway. You can't marry my daughter! Sora, let's go. Dad... - Hurry up. / - Just a minute dad.

There's something you need to know. Inside me... It can't be. Is a beggar. A really hungry beggar. Father.

I really love Sora. Please allow us to marry. Yeah. They say no parent can beat their kids. Let's just allow them. What? Allow?

Until I die, I will never allow this marriage. What? What now? What do you want me to do? It's a wheel of fortune. Should they get married or not? Sim Mungyu!

Spin the wheel. If you get the circle, you can get married. Spin the wheel of fortune. Hey, it looks like you can get married. (Manly Men) Hey, hey.

Why did you call me out again? You called me out. You've lost it after getting dumped. Right, I called you. But you broke up too. Why did you break up?

Listen. My girlfriend was struggling because of work. So I visited her office and surprised her. She was so happy and goes, "Now all I have is you." Now?

Now? Then what about before? What about earlier? There was someone before that? Huh? Tell me? Then she goes... "Sure you're blood type O, right?

Why are you so sensitive?" Yeah, you are. "Right?" "Type O, right?" How do you know so well? You must've dated lots of blood type O guys.

You're a blood type O killer. "I'm having such a hard time because of work. Why are you being like this too?" Too? Me too? Then there's someone else besides me.

She's saying I'm just like those other guys. I'm sorry for making it hard on you too! I'm sorry... Yeah, I'm sorry. - That's why you broke up? / - Yes... Should I say, just meet me as your last?

Just forget it. I think I was way too sensitive. I'm going to change from now on. I'm to be tough and manly. I might grow a beard and ask her to... Man, you just gave me goosebumps.

Woman hates scruffy beards. Why do you only do things that women hate? - I have some here... / - That's why you got dumped. - Hey, take a look... / - Forget it. Hey... Are you a heart bear or something? You said girls hate it.

Don't you find the heart cute, though? This? - Geez. / - Darling, I love you... Hey, it's Myunghoon. I'm going to break up with my girlfriend. Why?

She said she wanted to go to karaoke so we paid $9 each and had a blast. I should break up, right? Why? Out of the 60 minutes at karaoke, she sang for 40 minutes and I sang for 20.

Then shouldn't she give me $3? If she's human? If she's ever shouted "Korea Sings!" She sang for 40 minutes straight and my face sank. So that's why it's karaoke.

She sang without an end. I wondered if she had a battery in her back. I checked but she didn't. She danced around like that without even a battery. I thought she was possessed. - What are you saying? / - Without realizing it...

I was going to ask her my fortune. - "Will I get to sing a song today?" / - What the? The woman I loved was the king of masked possessed singer. - What on earth? / - I have to go. Where?

To the king of masked possessed singer. I'll get my $3 back or break up. Yeah, good luck. You losers... Whining after your ex-girlfriends... Haven't you ever done that?

Never. Once I break up, it's over. I don't even remember my ex's name. Mister, he cried with the blanket over his head at night. What are you saying? Sori! Can you hear my shouting?

There was something I always wanted to tell you. Sori, I'm so sorry! Mister, are you okay? I'm fine. This is nothing. Once you shout...

Sori! - What the? / - Mister! Why is he always so sad? Hey, what happened? I told her everything and asked for $3. Then she gave me a $10 note and asked for $7 change.

I don't have such a large amount of money. I'm not a gold mine. So I said I have no change. Then she snorted at me and goes, "Then take the $10 and get lost!" That's harsh.

So I did get lost. - What? / - I just deposited $10 into my account. You're the true manly man. (Real Soap Opera) Kim Daesung. And Kim Nahee.

Our drama "The Criminal that Loved Me." Let's begin the reading for episode 2. Wait, wait, wait. Director, I don't think I can shoot tomorrow. Why's that? You all know.

I'm the Asia's prince Kim Daesung. - Jin Daqing. / - Yes... I have a concert tomorrow for my fans. What do we do? Tomorrow the male lead has to escape by swimming in the ocean.

It's a very important scene. We can't cancel it. Really? Then we'll shoot that scene at my concert. - What? / - Just do it. - Wait... / - I won't tell you twice. - Just make it happen. / - No...

- Do it. / - I can't... I've told you three times already! Okay then. Organize the shoot for World Cup Stadium. How can we shoot the ocean at a stadium? Why not?

The fans can do a Mexican wave and Daesung can swim over them. Right? Jin Da... Qing. - Please say it properly. / - Sorry.

- Director. / - Yes? I have too many lines, cut we can't down on them? Which lines are you referring to? In the first scene... "Hello." This.

What? That's too long? Five letters is too long. - Let's cut it down to "hi." / - Okay... And this one too. My respected judge. How will you shorten that?

- Respect. / - What? Okay, let's start the reading then. In the court room scene... The witness... The victim of plastic surgery malpractice. - Did you cast him? / - Yes, I did. Why isn't he here yet?

Sorry for being late. Wait a minute. Who are you? I play the victim of plastic surgery malpractice. Hey, you can't cast a real life person! Excuse me, I've never had plastic surgery.

So you put on a costume for the reading? This is my normal face. Hey! This is great casting! Amazing work! You just have shoot like that, okay? I don't think it'll look real without makeup.

No, no. You just have to exist. Okay? Let's continue on. The judge... Who's playing the judge? Why isn't he here? He said he's almost here. Sorry for being late.

I'm sorry. Sorry for being late. Sorry. Wait a minute. You're playing a judge. What's with your costume? I just came from playing a criminal for

"One Law for the Rich and Another for the Poor." That drama is on at the same time as ours. So you're a judge here but a criminal there. Does this make sense? Times are really tough. My father passed away when I was a kid...

All he left me was an inheritance of $8 million. I don't know how I'm supposed to spend all that. What are you saying? Just help me out here. I've analyzed the character completely and I've memorized the script.

Go and sit down then. Yes, thank you. Let's keep going. It's the appeal for Daesung. Ready. Cue. Lawyer, your closing remarks.

Respected judge. Just as all the evidence points to, Kim Daesung is not the criminal. The real criminal is... I'm sorry! I will never do it again. Please save me.

What do you think you're doing? Oh, I got confused. Let me try again. - Get with it! / - Yes. Okay, okay. Continuing on. Ready, cue.

I'm not the criminal! This isn't fair! Order in the court! What do you think you're doing? If you don't keep it down... I'll kill all of you!

I will... What the? What are you doing? Director, I got confused again. I'm sorry. Get with it. - What is this? / - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Let's skip this scene and move to the next one. Daesung heads to execution room. And Nahee says her final farewell. Ready. Cue. I'm sorry, Nahee. Just forget about me and live a happy life.

I will remember the times I had with you and always smile. Hey! I left a note, didn't I? Look here. "She's sad but holds back her tears

and forces a smile." Is this really that hard? This won't do. We'll replace her with someone else. Who will we find on such short notice? Come here.

Hello, I'm rookie actor Suji. Is she a victim of plastic surgery malpractice too? Who is this? My niece. Suji, show them what you've got. "She's sad but holds back her tears..."

I will always think of you, Daesung. And laugh. What are you doing? Minus 100 points for you, Director! You're out. This is a complete mess!

(The Demon) This is it. I can sense an incredible evil presence here. It's a strong presence. Stay calm. Excuse me.

Do you have any straws? Straws? I have to wash this and this and this. We have plenty. What the? It's a demon!

It's a middle aged man demon! Come out of him! Come out! The demon is out. Show us your true form. Now!

It's a middle aged man demon. Why's it so hot in here? Gosh, it's hot. It's so hot. So hot... So hot.

Why's it so hot? Hey, hey, hey! What is it? Hey, demon. Why are you at the cinema? What? Aren't middle aged men allowed here?

We come here often to watch movies too. These are 3D glasses. This is the front, this is the back. Gosh... Why are nachos so expensive? Lower these prices already.

Nachos! Stop it already. Listen up. What do you call it when Kim Taehee watches a movie alone? What is it?

Movie. Movie. No Rain. Think it's not funny now? Listen up. When you eat something spicy later... - You'll think of this and crack up. / - No...

Why are you laughing? Did you eat spicy chicken feet? So funny... What happened. I think the demon is gone. - I'll go and check. / - Be careful.

Hey, are you okay? - Yes. / - It's dangerous here so get going. Okay. What are you doing? You said you wanted water. Give me water.

The demon is back. Come out! Geez. Wait a minute. Where's the restroom? - Restroom! / - Where's he going? - What the? / - Geez, he just won't quit.

That's much better... That's better. Hey, hey. Do that before you come out. - Geez. / - Just leave. Why? I have to watch a movie.

- Aren't you here to watch a movie? / - I am. I'll buy it for you. Here. What's this? I gave you a four. 5...

That's actually quite funny. Get with it. Hey, demon! Why are you doing this? Don't you know? Don't look down on us middle aged men.

You youngsters take photos like this... Jumping at the beach. And you make hearts with your arms. What kind of pose is this? This. You make all sorts of poses.

We middle aged men have our poses too. - Watch. / - What? At the beach. On a hike. What are you doing? Taking a photo? Hold up.

Take it now. You take it too. (Serious Kingdom) According to the Serious Records of Joseon... During the rule of King Serious, it was said that laughter made the nation silly

and so the serious era began... Despite laughter being banned in this nation, you dare make the people laugh? I'm going to find the criminal and punish him. - We're innocent, Sire! / - Be quiet! The mastermind is among you for sure. Who is it?

Sire, it is said that he made people laugh with a Korean poem. - A Korean poem? / - Yes. Fine. Recite a Korean poem. But make it unfunny and serious.

The topic will be place names around Korea. How can we be unfunny with a poem? Mom, why did you give birth to a funny son? How can we be unfunny? Stop talking nonsense. You go first.

Okay. I'll do the past life experience version. Yeah? Give me horse pox. Past life experience? Fine. Start.

Horse. That's right. I must be a problem solver. I will solve your stuffy problems. That's right. I am...

- Pox. / - A plunger. Don't push too hard. I've flipped inside out. The water's splashing. Watch out. Strike him! I've flipped. I'll do one more to continue this vibe.

Give me conversation. - Conversation? / - Yes. Fine. Conversation. I must be amazing. I've finished my tour of China and now I'm in Korea.

Everyone's waving their hands at me. Some are even covering their mouths and crying. That's right, I am... - Conversation. / - Yellow dust. I'm from China. Keep striking him!

It's your turn now. Okay. I'll do the girl that just got dumped version. Okay then. What will be your word? I'll do Naju. Naju? Okay.

Start. Na. You dump me and meet another girl? Ju. I'll kill you. Strike him!

I have another one. - You have another? / - Yes. Give me Jeongeup. Jeongeup? Fine. Jeong.

Fine, I'll let you go. Let's just break up, no strings attached. Go. Bye. - Eup. / - Honey! Honey! Don't leave me! I'm sorry!

Keep striking him! I've never seen him like this. I do have one more... - More? / - Yes. - You have one final one? / - Yes. Really?

- Give me Gyeryong. / - Gyeryong? - Yes. / - Fine, start. Gye. You're despicable. What? You want all the gifts you gave me, back?

Yeah, I knew that's what you're really like. I've already packed it all. - Here, take it. / - Ryong. Heave-ho, heave-ho. - Heave-ho. / - Don't stop striking him! Korean poems are easy.

Strike him once more. These two were funny. Now it's your turn. I will do the Chunhyang pansori version. - Pansori version? / - Yes. - Your word? / - Give me missing child.

Missing child. I'll look forward to it. Start. Missing. In order to open Chunhyang's silent mouth... Magistrate Byeon said this...

Child. I am ground. Introduce yourself. Magistrate Byeon. - King Kong shower! / - Strike him! Give me one more with Suwon. - Suwon? / - Yes.

Fine. Start. Su. Magistrate Byeon got mad at Chunhyang for not drinking the alcohol he gave her. His final words were... Won.

How long will you make me bounce like this? Look at my shoulders? They've been dislocated. Keep striking him! I'll do one final one. Give me Ulleung.

- Ulleung? / - Yes. You're very arrogant. Okay, here goes Ul. Chunhyang couldn't stop crying and got up from the table

and said this to Magistrate Byeon. Leung. Tact game. 1! You drink, you drink. I'll kill you. Strike them! Strike them!

Video Description

Click the "Caption" button to activate subtitle!
- Ep.845: She Was Pretty / Pick Me Up / Real Sound / Horror Special / Through the Ranks / Knew This Would Happen / 1 vs. 1 / Like a Family / Veteran / Manly Men / Real Soap Opera / The Demon / Serious Kingdom
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